Strong Wind Forces Emergency Landing

Some extraordinary conditions were experienced recently aboard an flight from Washington to Dallas, forcing it to divert to Nashville where its 99 passengers and 5 crew had to disembark while it was searched. The route change was ordered by the captain following reports from passengers about a smell of burning.

During the search a sniffer dog located used matches in the aircraft cabin. The origin of these was established when lengthy questioning by the FBI finally got the the bottom of the matter. An unfortunate lady from Dallas admitted lighting the matches to disguise the odour caused by a medical condition. The flight eventually continued, minus hapless woman. "She was trying to conceal body odour." observed Lynne Lowrance, spokesperson for Nashville International Airport, who went on to add that there had been no malign intention, but such acts breached airline rules. The cause of the fuss wasn't charged and she took another flight home, and, we suspect, will be keeping the Swan Vestas at home in future.