Our favourite quote machine Michael O'Leary, boisterous boss of Ryanair, was recently the subject of an anthology of his verbal pearls. Here for your delight we repeat them:
On tourism...
"I don't give a toss where people want to go. I'm in the business of creating a market for people to go where they have never heard of."
On Security...
"You don't see the government confiscating lipsticks and gel-filled bras on the London Underground. Most of them couldn't identify a gel-filled bra if it jumped up and bit them."
On Low Fares...
"Germans would crawl bollock naked over broken glass for them."
On the Threats to Ryanair...
"Nuclear war in Europe, a major accident, or believing our own bullshit."
On Travel Agents...
"Take the fuckers out and shoot them."
On Flying...
"I'm not a cloud bunny. I am not an aerosexual. I don't like aeroplanes. I never wanted to be a pilot like those other goons who populate the air industry."
On What Motivates him...
"I would have murdered, I would have gone through concrete walls to make money."
Remebering the time he ran a newsagents and opened it on Christmas Day to sell batteries and chocolates a treble the normal price...
"I never had a sexual experience in my life like it."
On BA's starting up 'Go'...
"They must be smoking too much dope."
The best way to settle his differences with Aer Rianta...
"With Semtex, preferably during a board meeting."
Regarding the possibility of trans-Atlantic service by Ryanair...
"In economy no frills, in business class it'ss all be free - including the blowjobs."
On his wedding day, asked if the bride would be late...
"Yes, she's flying Aer Lingus."
On fatherhood...
"I'm taking the Ryanair approach - subcontracting everything."
On himself...
"I'm probably just an abnoxious little bollocks. Who cares?"
On the economy...
"We would welcome a good, deep, bloody recession for 12 to 18 months. We need one if we are going to see off some of this environmental nonsense."
On his intentions after Ryanair...
"Making the world a better place - by taking a vow of silence."
May the last one never come to pass.
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"Cannibals, false teeth, alcohol lectures...it's enough to make a frequent flier plane crazy." - The Sunday Post
"It is the perfect read for both the seasoned air traveller and anyone involved in the industry." - Airways Magazine
"This while-away-a-flight book...a compendium of anecdotes and news cuttings." - The Guardian
"Cannibals, false teeth, alcohol lectures...it's enough to make a frequent flier plane crazy." - The Sunday Post
What its all about...
People behaving badly, or bizarrely, are not the only things that make airlines and air travel so fascinating. Flying is fun, air travel is glamorous and it’s the source of more than its fair share of amusing incidents.
According to our publisher it's "an hilarious, ghastly, amazing and sometimes even down right worrying insight into the airline industry and the world of aviation. Packed full of trivia, gossip, stories and anecdotes it is the perfect read for a flight to a holiday destination." And who are we to argue?
Chris and I thought we'd like to share some of the amusing stories from the book and for you to tell us what has happened to you. We will also be trawling the world for yet more funny stories to keep you in the know about the crazy wacky world of airlines and flying.
According to our publisher it's "an hilarious, ghastly, amazing and sometimes even down right worrying insight into the airline industry and the world of aviation. Packed full of trivia, gossip, stories and anecdotes it is the perfect read for a flight to a holiday destination." And who are we to argue?
Chris and I thought we'd like to share some of the amusing stories from the book and for you to tell us what has happened to you. We will also be trawling the world for yet more funny stories to keep you in the know about the crazy wacky world of airlines and flying.
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